How to be Happy and Embrace Your Feminine Power

Coming from the tomboy of all tomboys, “my grandma used to beat up guys in the bar and I can, too”, tough girl, “anything a man can do, I can do better” attitude, I have to just lean back and giggle when I think of this. The most amusing thing for me, is that I hold my dad solely (well, maybe not solely, but hugely) responsible for this attitude. Yet he’s the one who told me most of my adult life that “there has to be a leader and a follower in a romantic relationship.”

That may be a little too simplistic, but as I experienced a number of failed relationships and some bad feelings around anything about myself that might be considered feminine, “princess-y”, sissy lala, I had to look at this a little more closely. What I realized is… my dear ol’ dad just might be on to something here. (Oh the horror, right)?

I read somewhere that, “a man doesn’t want to date a man dressed up like a woman”. That struck a chord and got me started studying this masculine/feminine approach a little more closely. What I began to realize is that a man not wanting to date another man dressed up as a woman, really makes a lot of sense. I believe that a woman can be feminine and function even better in relationship than she can by doing things in a masculine way. We all have a balance and sometimes our masculine skills serve us better, but in relationship, I just don’t believe that’s the case.

Before you get too riled up, let me just say: I’m not asking you to take a trip back to the 50s with me. There’s a balance between the 50s submission (oh how I loathe that term) and the 70s “anything a man can do, I can do better” attitude. I’m not proposing that all of us women, quit our jobs and stay home to raise 2.3 kids in our cute little house with the white picket fence. Although I certainly believe you can have that, if that’s what you desire. What I’m saying here is that we as women, have lost sight of the fact that our femininity – true femininity – coming from a place of feelings; of caring and compassion, is actually a strength. Not just a strength in relationship with a man, but in all of our relationships; with our friends, our children and yes, even in the workplace to an extent.

For me, I found myself resistant of how women can be manipulative and I totally “threw the baby out with the bathwater,” so to speak. I rejected all of my feminine strengths, along with the weakness. It took me awhile to realize that the truly feminine has no need for manipulation. There is so much power in femininity and just in “being,” that if you experience it correctly, there’s simply no need to manipulate in relationship.

The funny thing is, I’ve found that since I’ve become open to this idea of empowerment through embracing my femininity, things keep popping up to confirm to me that I’m on the right track. Recently, I’ve done some training through Robbins-Madanes Training (this is Tony Robbins‘ baby). Any of you who have had the pleasure of seeing Tony work his Strategic Intervention will attest that this is powerful stuff. (If you haven’t had the pleasure, you’ll just have to take my word for it, I guess). And yes, there’s a point here other than Tony Robbins is awe-inspiring to watch – although I do think he is. My point is, Tony talks about one thing that really reinforces the idea that being present in your femininity is POWERFUL – and that is, that ladies, and all the guys in the audience agreed with this one – do you know what a man wants more than anything in the world from the woman in their life? Surprise. It’s not sex…

It’s for her to be happy.  In fact, he goes so far as to say that the sexiest thing about a woman is her smile (and again, the thousands of men in the audience all agree). Knowing this, could you manipulate a man to do what you want?

Of course you could! But why would you need to, if all you have to do is tell him what will make you happy? No manipulation necessary.

If you’ve read any of my older posts, you may have gotten the idea by now that I’m pretty passionate about empowerment for women, leading a fulfilled, happy life, strong confidence and self-esteem,  and having fabulous relationships. These days, my life feels so fulfilling, and it’s not for the love of a good man – it’s from the love of a good woman. That would be me. I can see this could turn into a very long post, so I’ll leave you with this thought for now…

Since I’ve embraced my femininity, I feel more comfortable in my own skin, I wake up happy everyday, I’m more joyous, more compassionate, have better conflict resolution skills, have better, closer relationships with all of my friends and a close relationship with a wonderful man. A man who accepts me for exactly who I am, who tells me he loves my vulnerability and who hands me basically everything I could ever want from a man, on a silver platter. I never wanted to be Cinderella, but I sure am enjoying these glass slippers! And I credit it all – yes, all of it – to finally embracing my femininity.


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